Laugh maker, it is not a lie
by launcherofzeroship
Summary: L-Elf is sad.


So, Haruto who (very nearly) confessed to Shouko and proposed to Rukino was in love with L-Elf, who was in love with Lieselotte, who couldn't be together with him – and they all went out for dinner. It sounded like the premise of a typical French movie with a particularly bad plot. Except that Rukino was missing, Lieselotte dead, and L-Elf wounded.

This was reality.

"Michael is very fortunate, to have such great friends."

Haruto remembered the time when Lieselotte told him that. She was standing next to him inside Unit 1, making their way towards the city museum. _You are the fortunate one_, he thought. But at the time, Haruto just smiled. To have someone who loved you so very much, how would it feel? If by chance, Lieselotte and (for simplicity's sake) Haruto were hanging on the edge of a cliff, L-Elf would no doubt fight tooth and nail to save her, leaving Haruto then and there. Haruto was fine with that. He would never stand a chance against her from the very beginning, and there was also the immortality perk of being a _kamitsuki _– should he fall. Lieselotte was worth hell, after all. The person that L-Elf had loved enough to incite a rebellion against the world's greatest empire. Measured on a scale, the sheer weight of his feelings for her would surely send him flying until Kingdom come.

The sheer difference between them was too great, Haruto admitted. What was the chance of L-Elf to ever be involved in a romance with a genetically modified, mentally questionable teenage pilot? Who was also a male. Surely everything would be better with princesses, even if she was a Magius. Or maybe the correct expression would be; in spite of her being a Magius.

Haruto supposed that he had never much luck in the love department. There was Shouko; childhood friend turned prime minister, Rukino; ex-idol turned pilot, and L-Elf; ex-Dorssian super soldier (and hopefully) turned ally. Such unique array of love interests, coming mostly from his side.

L-Elf loved Lieselotte, that was a confirmed fact. And as far as he was concerned, Lieselotte cared for him too. They suited each other. The gentle and kind Lieselotte and the smart and cool-headed L-Elf. He looked happy with Lieselotte, more alive, more three dimensional. With Lieselotte, the hard lines forming on L-Elf's mouth and brows softened, and he smiled more often. Not a smug scheming one that he used to put on during his stay in the New-JIOR, but a genuine open mouthed smile. More fitting for a boy his age. [Love], in a way, had truly made him beautiful. He was not merely a perfect soldier, but also a normal human being. Who bled, laughed, and cried like the rest of flesh-and-blood humans out there.

An exiled princess and an elite soldier, a brooding guy and a gentle girl, it was truly the perfect premise for a romance story. Unfortunately, their story did not have a happy ending. Lieselotte died, leaving L-Elf wounded and broken. Seeing L-Elf in such a state, for lack of a better word, was new. L-Elf who always seemed to be in perfect control of his emotions and invulnerable, going from one daring plan to the next without so much as batting an eyelash, being in a state of utter dejection…the sight was surreal.

Like a rainbow that formed at midnight.

A star shining in the afternoon.

Snow falling in the summer.

_It is…it is unfamiliar._

* * *

"I love you."

"Let me take you away."

"I have prepared a country for us to run away to."

It was not an excerpt from an evening's drama dialogue, nor came from a sappy romance novel. Such were the words that L-Elf had said to Lieselotte, in a castle deep in the Dorssian territory. By that moment, L-Elf had made his choice, and it was time for Haruto to bow out as gracefully as he could. He couldn't make L-Elf love him, nor make his heart felt something that it wouldn't. So, to slowly fade away was the correct decision.

L-Elf's happiness was also his; at least that was what Haruto would like to believe.

"I am happy for you."

That was his lie, and he would keep on lying still. Even if it killed him inside, he would smile and tell everyone that he was fine. Surely if he told it often enough, the lie would someday become a reality. He wanted him to be happy, even if it was with someone else. _Was it all a lie?_ He didn't know what was what anymore.

There was a part of him that said "_I want to forget everything_," and another one that said "_what am I saying?_" He would never regret something that once made him smile_, wasn't it already decided?_ If the biggest mistake was to connect to someone personally, then his life was already full of them. As long as a person lived, precious things would only increase, and that was okay. Let the threads that bind him to his friends and family bound him, until he became like a marionette. It was never mentioned in the terms and conditions that life would be easy, thus all the more reason to cram it full with the things that he considered precious.

Congratulate the happy couple and fade into the background. Even though it was regrettable, the feeling was better than all of the evidences of him liking L-Elf up until now. _If you love someone set them free._ There was once a saying like that, but Haruto doubted that he could restrain L-Elf even if he tried to.

L-Elf loved Lieselotte, there was no changing the fact. The feeling of love was precious. So L-Elf didn't have to forget about her, he mustn't. The hot tears that his body shed upon seeing the photograph, was already proof enough. So did the frantic face that he wore while fighting desperately to free Lieselotte. It was his battle, and solely his.

L-Elf saved Lieselotte and they escaped safely to the New-JIOR. At least that was what supposed to happen on the script. But God was an unpredictable writer who was fond of using tragic plot twists. Lieselotte was truly a kind person, perhaps too kind, and paid the price.

Haruto wouldn't fancy himself as a replacement for Lieselotte, nor did he want to. He also wouldn't be as conceited to think of himself as capable of "fixing" L-Elf. There was nothing that needed to be fixed, anyway. L-Elf was already perfect in all of his imperfections. The moment of weakness gave him depth, and made him an even stronger person. He only hoped that he could stay by his side for a little longer. So, even if tomorrow never came, he would be standing by someone important to him.

It was like a bad break up of an epic proportion, except that it wasn't really a break up. The main protagonist couldn't forget about his ex-girlfriend and ignored everything and everyone else, including the girl next door who loved him. If only things were that simple.

Lieselotte seemed to exist everywhere, and L-Elf was left to chase after her shadows. A heroine from a certain novel used to play around with her cat. She waved a flashlight around and the cat would go crazy, chasing the light. Just when the cat seemed to almost catch up, the flashlight would turn off, so that it would never catch it. Perhaps, it was also the most accurate depiction of their current situation – L-elf looking for something that was out of his reach.

Him being tremendously sad that he couldn't cry, _is it alright to leave him like that? If it isn't, who is he to tell him otherwise? _He was only Tokishima Haruto, who was still unsure of the path that he had chosen. There weren't many things that he knew about, but one thing that he was sure of was his feelings for L-Elf. L-Elf saved him at his lowest moments and gave him hope. It was nothing special, and perhaps, L-Elf didn't realize it himself. But to him, it was something precious. He loved L-Elf, and he loved himself who was like that. Liking L-Elf made him like himself a bit more, and for that, he was grateful.

If [partnership], as he would like to believe, was the basis of their relationship, and the burden of the [curse] could be split on by two people, surely the same could also be said to [sadness]. He didn't know how much of an assistance he could offer, but he hoped that it would be lighter with the two of them together.

It was not okay for the person that he loved to be sad; he wanted to stay by his side and comfort him as best as he could.

* * *

"You are amazing."

"You are fantastic."

"Your smile is beautiful; I wish that you would do it more often."

He wanted to tell him that. Haruto could never replace, be like, nor surpasses Lieselotte. The only thing that he could do was to continue doing what he did best, being Tokishima Haruto. If he couldn't cry, he would cry for him, and even if he could, he would still cry. _Sweet, sour, hot, and sweet._ People could live on without tears, and some might even consider it to be a burden. But tears were precious; it made a person kind and understood what "importance" meant. So, they would cry together. After that, he would try his hardest to erase the tears, so that L-Elf's crying face would turn into a smile.

Because the only kind of tears that Haruto wanted to see on L-Elf was the one that came from laughing too hard, it suited him. _Most probably._

* * *

"You are not alone."

He also wanted to tell him that. _Surely, there is someone, somewhere who loves you. Someone, somewhere, who believes in you. Someone, somewhere who is looking out for you. How good will it be if that someone is me. _

_I am on your side, even when the times get tough._

With such feelings in mind, Haruto took a steady step through the base and kept on walking until he found himself in front of L-Elf's bedroom. He gave the door an experimental knock, waiting for a reply.

"L-Elf? It is me, Tokishima Haruto."

_And I come to wipe your sadness away._


End file.
